Have you ever felt like your life was nothing more than living up to other people's expectations? How did that pressure help you? How did it hurt you? Did you ever feel as if you never fit in anywhere? Malaka Gharib felt all these and more as she grew up as the daughter of immigrant parents in the US. Malaka recorded her experiences in this graphic memoir, I was Their American Dream. This memoir is just an interesting look into the life of a young girl caught between three different cultures none of which she can fully claim to be because so many people in the US, several aspects of each culture enriches their lives in unique and beautiful ways.
Malaka begins with the story of how her parents made it to the US. Her father, an Egyptian Muslim, had always dreamed of coming to America. He loved everything about the culture and the fast pace of life. Her mother, on the other hand, did not want to leave her home in the Philippines. She was from a wealthy family and had a great job. It all came down to Malaka's grandfather having his family leave a few members at a time during the 70's due to political unrest in the country. From there, Malaka's mother worked hard and eventually met Malaka's father at a company where they both worked. They were from different cultures, with different attitudes about being in the US, and differing opinions for how to live their lives. Their marriage eventually ended in divorce when Malaka was young. This, however, did not affect the way her parents loved her. She mostly stayed with her mother and her Filipino family and culture. Malaka was sent to a private Catholic school during the week, spent every other weekend with her father until he moved back to Egypt to care for his ailing father and never moved back. From then on, Malaka spent the school year with her mother, half-sister, and other Filipino relatives. In the summer she would stay with her father, step-mother, and half siblings in Egypt. Her step-mother would help her to become a women, sharing some very important milestones with her while Malaka stayed with them. Malaka's father would try to make the best of the time he had with his daughter while she was there. Malaka got to see the different ways her Egyptian family lived in comparison to the nearby fighting between Israel and Palestine. She also had to navigate the different ways she was expected to act with each branch of her identity (Filipino, Egyptian, American) while not crossing the wires in detrimental ways.
The community in which her school is located is an eclectic mix of other immigrant families, so she was pretty immersed in a society of kids who were from all different places. This, however, didn't make it much easier for her to be accepted by her peers. Anytime she wanted to hang out with the Filipino kids, she was too Egyptian, there were not may other Egyptian students at her school. Anytime she wanted to look like the kids on TV, she was "whitewashed" or a "poser". Eventually she was able to find a group of kids who would accept her as she is and together they made it through high school.
The harsh reality that Malaka soon finds out is that things don't get much easier immediately after high school. Malaka goes to college at Syracuse, New York. After getting some financial help from her Filipino family, she is on her way. Again, she is smacked with the reality that she is different and that most representation goes to "white people". She is singled out at school and eventually her job as being ethnic, diverse, other. One thing she was not expecting was the "colorblindness" of her college classmates. She does not get a chance to talk about her culture(s) which is something she loved to do whenever anyone asked "What are you?" As she grows older she starts to realize that this is not a question that is well-received very often. She meets with other people who have varying different ethnic backgrounds and present this question to them and how they react to it.
Through trial and error, life became a little simpler until she met Darren, a white Southern Baptist man from Nashville, Tennessee. Her Filipino family really liked him, but her Muslim father took some convincing. Thankfully, things were smoothed out, and Malaka and Darren got married. They, like Malaka's parents, had differing cultures and backgrounds, but they had a similar vision for their lives. They still squabble over things that can strain the cultural "norms" of one or the other, however, they overcome them as they arise. Malaka and Darren enjoy their version of their American dream, her mother enjoys travelling the world with her boyfriend Dan, and her father built his dream home in Egypt (his "Arab Dream"). She takes all her experiences and let them mold her into a strong woman who is proud of her many facets. She looks forward to bringing Darren and her children to Egypt one day. Even though they may not know the culture as they would if they were raised there, but she knows that, "They'll be able to feel the sun on their face, and the wind in their hair, and they'll know, someday, somehow, that all this is a part of them, too." 
Discussion and Classroom Application
This, like Marisol McDonald Doesn't Match, can open up so many conversations about the power of genetics and the various aspects of how culture mash-ups can create/complicate identity. I would love to assign this book to my eighth grade students for exploring the theme of cultural identity, writer's purpose, and writing style. This could cross over to Science, History, Geography, and Humanities.
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