(Week 1: SEL Young Adult Book) "The Only Number That Would Ever Be Enough is 0": Battling Perception vs. Reality of Self-Importance and Body Image

 

 

    One of the most heartbreaking experiences of my teaching career came in the form of a student who nearly lost their battle with anorexia. While reading this novel all those feelings of guilt for not seeing what was going on came screaming back. However, this time I was able to see into the mind of someone who was going through it firsthand. In the fictional novel Wintergirls by Laurie Halse Anderson showcases the struggles of an 18 year-old girl named Lia Overbrook as she comes to terms with the death of her childhood friend, Cassie Parrish. As girls in middle school, Cassie and Lia began to obsess over being "thin" and "perfect". They choose different methods for rapidly dropping the pounds to achieve their idea of perfection. Lia chooses to only eat 500 calories a day and cutting herself to release the pain and shadows that threaten to drag her down, Cassie binges and purges. Both girls come from homes that, on the outside, look privileged: successful parents, affluent neighborhoods, great schools. The thing is that life is almost never as it seems when peering behind closed doors. 

    In Lia's world, parents are divorced, dad is remarried, mom is a cardiovascular surgeon who never has much time for anything/one else, and stepmom is focused on molding her daughter into a perfect reflection of herself. Lia is lost, confused, ignored, and angry! Cassie was assaulted as young girl by a boy from a previous neighborhood, thus bringing her and Lia together. Cassie's parents are older and also too busy to pay much attention to their daughter and her emotional needs that she keeps locked up. After returning home from drama camp one year, Cassie now knows all there is to know about how to lose weight and be perfect. She shares this knowledge with Lia and off they go all the way into a car crash brought on by Lia passing out due to her being severely malnourished. After Lia learns of Cassie's death, she finds herself in a slow spiral to her lowest level of mental stability. Lia begins to see Cassie at night, then during the day, during times of stress and anxiety, during times of quiet. Lia has convinced herself that if she can just wait until Cassie's funeral and then Lia will be free. Meanwhile, Lia continues her facade of healing to her mother, father and stepmom after her release from her time in in-patient care for her eating disorder. She even goes as far as sewing quarters into the hem of her bathrobe when she does her weekly weigh-ins for her stepmom. All the while driving closer and closer to get back down to her goal weight of 85lbs. Lia gets in touch with a young handy man, Elijah, that worked at the hotel where Cassie died. Elijah found her body and he has a message for her, "Tell her that I lost. She won and I lost." This is a reference to Lia and Cassie's bet/competition for being the skinniest girl in school.    

    

    All of Lia's demons finally catch up with her after her parents realize that it might be time for an evaluation. Lia snaps and begins cutting herself until she is caught by her younger sister just as Lia passes out. Once she is released by the hospital, Lia is on the fast track back to another stint of in-patient care. She opens up to her therapists and shares her seeing Cassie as well. Shortly after this last session, Lia runs away to the hotel to hide in Elijah's room. Afraid of being caught with yet another dead girl, Elijah takes off leaving Lia alone in the hotel room. She takes her sleeping pills, too many, and has one last conversation with Cassie. Cassie tells Lia that she is dying and that she couldn't be happier to not be alone anymore. Lia finally realizes and confesses that she does not want to be skinny at the expense of her life. She makes it to a payphone and calls an ambulance. Lia wakes up in the hospital. After a 10 day stay, she goes back into in-patient care where is finally ready to heal. 

"I am thawing."

    I would love to teach this novel to my 8th graders. There's so much pressure for both girls and boys to be perfect, and to look a certain way. It's important to show that these kids are not alone in their own struggles. This would also be a great resource for developing student empathy and understand for those who may have never had anyone explain what these conditions are and the toll they can take on a person and their loved ones. A cross curricular option for this book is for English and Health/PE teachers to collaboratively present the idea of eating disorders as a means to reinforce both subject areas. Students can focus on the inner dialogue of the narrator and decide what makes this person unreliable as a narrator. Students show also see how the dialogue/perspective should be to foster a healthier outcome.